My Love To You
by ic.laxieve
Summary: PrussiaXReader/OC AU. Best friend. That was what restricting him. Awesomeness and his pride are the second on the list of his reasons why he couldn't tell her. But how he wished that he just told her right then and there...(A what-if-Prussia-is-the-guy idea came into me so I have to write this. Please read and review! I don't own anything...especially not the plot.)
1. Chapter 1

**My Love To You (Prussia aka Gilbert Beilschmidt Story)**

((A/N: This is AU by the way. I don't own Hetalia or any of its characters! I can't say that the plot is mine since this is solely based on a little heart touching story I read…This is just my 'what-if' idea…But please read for your own sake. If you like reader-insert stories, this is perfect for you. As for those who prefer OC's, just used my OC's name Dea…It's not hard to remember, right? Anyways, enjoy reading! **AND DON'T DARE REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED READING THE WHOLE STORY.** This is not a warning but a plea..nyehehehehe~))

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**PART ONE**

Was it really possible for him to love? Well what could he call this feeling that he felt ever since he was just little? The feeling that he felt every time she would laugh at his naughtiness (though most of the time that was the reason why they got into trouble), every time she would argue with him about his so-called 'awesomeness', and even every time she would cry over a silly thing.

He never said it out loud but she was the closest person he had, aside from his brother. They were best of friends. She was always there with him. They were always together. They shared their dreams and secrets with each other. And not one of them would forget how they met…

He was by his tree house watching intently the small egg that he found a while ago.

"Kesesese~" he mused to his self. "I think I should think of a name for you when you hatch!" then he frowned. "But I bet that Old Fritz would have a better idea." Old Fritz was what he called the man who lived in the house next to theirs. He was the one who would always play with him and became a father-figure since his was away abroad. But now the house was empty. Old Fritz moved next town due to the new well-needed job given to him. "If only he didn't went to that loser of a town! This town is way more awesome than that!"

Then he heard the sound of a truck coming near. He looked out from the window and saw a truck and a car parked in front of the empty house. Then out of the car a family went out.

"Hm…A new neighbor, huh?" he mused to his self with a smirk. "And they are going to live in Old Fritz's house! Kesesesese! I will make sure that they will leave! That house is for Old Fritz! He promised me to come back and play again!"

He was about to turn away but that was when _she_ walked out of the car. She was a year younger than him, he could tell. Her hair looked as if they were soft as silk and her eyes could melt and mesmerize anyone's heart if ever they would look at them.

She looked around and when he was about to duck his head, her eyes met his. She smiled at him while he just frowned while muttering under his breath: 'trespasser'. And then a funny thought came in his head: 'She's lucky that I'm not like that Vash Zwingli kid who would throw rocks or mud pies to the people he considers trespassers!'

The girl then waved at him and ran towards his tree house.

"Hey there!" she greeted him, smiling gleefully.

He just smirked at her. 'Well, well, well. Welcome, lost lamb! Mind if I kick you out here?' he thought.

"I'm _! May I know your name?" she asked when he didn't answer.

Might as well she knew… "I am the Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt!" he grinned widely at her with the tone of a proud royalty.

"Gilbert? That's a very nice name!" she chirped. "Mind if I go up there?"

He contemplated it for a second. 'Well, since I am going to kick her and her family out soon, might as well have a little fun!' "Sure! Come on up!"

Just that and they were soon talking to each other as if they have met a year before. After several days, they have been playing together, playing pranks together, competing with each other. Until after a whole week of spending time with her, Gilbert had decided to give up on his 'awesome kick-out plan'. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, he was now contented to have her around.

He also showed her the egg that he found and when it hatched, it was her who named it: Gilbird. It was named after him which just made him happier.

He was a bit hesitant to drag her around though. She was a girl and he knew that girls found some of the things that boys do as things they shouldn't bother doing. But she was different. Every time he would try to think of what to do for the day or suggest some things, she would gladly join him. And then they would make it a competition, her being the instigator. They would compete while catching frogs to see who was better and in the end, they would end up getting all dirty and their parents would scold them but mostly him since he was the boy. They would race with bikes but ever since she fell off and got herself a scrape on the knee, he never indulged her to race with him again. Of course, he treated the injury after making sure that no one saw the accident for if someone did, it would reach their parents' ears and their ears would meet more reprimands. He also remembered of that one time when they played baseball and she hit the window of a Russian. The young Ivan was scary, yes, but his guardian, Mr. Winter, who was so angry was scarier! But it was him who took the blame and promised to pay even though it meant losing his one week allowance (and also, his pride of 'awesomeness' since he wasn't used to admitting wrong things).

When they started going to school, they met more friends. But boy was he protective of her! His two best friends, Antonio and Francis, befriended her but Gilbert never allowed her to hang out with them without him around. There was also this one time when she got into a teasing game with the Hedervary kid. Gilbert got into a fight with that kid when she started to cry but ended up with a black eye and a bruise on his cheek. She was crying when she was placing an ice bag over his bruised cheek and kept apologizing to him. He just smirked at her and told her that it was not her fault and told her that he was alright for he was too awesome to be beaten up. With that, she suddenly gave him a get-well kiss on his cheek and for the first time in his awesome young life, he blushed!

The tree house was their favorite hang-out place. It was there where they spoke of what they wanted to be when they grow up. And every time he would proudly say to her that he would dominate the world someday, she would just smile at him and would say that she would like to see that. And without thinking, he announced that once he was the king of the world, she would be his queen. And she just laughed at that but never disagreed. Even though the world domination dream was quite impossible, being the king and queen was quite not…


	2. Chapter 2

((A/N: By the way, if Prussia is OOC, for anyone's information, I'm focusing or more like the story is focused on the feelings rather than the personality…That's all, nya~))

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**PART TWO**

Years passed by and he seemed to notice about something. He was still awesome as before, yes, but something deep inside him was growing. He thought it was only a simple crush on her that would go away but he was wrong. Every night, if he wasn't wide awake thinking of her, he would dream of her and the feeling of wanting to be always with her grew more and more with each passing day. But as awesome as he was, he would never admit it.

Every time they would walk together to school, their hands would always be entwined. And he would always feel a tingling sensation whenever they held hands and he felt a shiver down his spine whenever he was near her. His heart beat would increase and he was quite sure that it disturbed little Gilbird who was always atop his head or sitting on his shoulder. Once, he invited her to an outing with his family. They went to a beach. His brother, Ludwig, and his brother's friends, Feliciano and Kiku, found it very weird for Gilbert to be laughing with her. Gilbert never laughed that way or smiled at them. He would always wear a smirk and would always laugh boastfully as he described how awesome he was. And that time when he carried her by the beach to the sea, he badly wanted not to let go. But the thought of thinking that he was taking advantage of their friendship and losing her…dare he said it…scared him. That was why he never intended to tell her his feelings.

High school came and she just grew lovelier each day. How his brow twitched in annoyance and anger when the other boys would glance her way and would give her flowers and presents. How he was near at some point to punching Francis when he tried flirting with her… And how he was tempted to go with Antonio for guitar lessons so that he could play her songs instead of her listening to the Spanish man…

But still when he looked at her spending time with others, especially with boys, even though he kept his smirk, he was hurting inside. It hurt him because he had so many things to say to her but he couldn't in fear of losing her. He had so many presents to give her but he couldn't give for he knew that it only meant nothing but from a friend to her. And most of all, it hurt his self and pride to admit that he was nothing but a coward of not telling her how he felt.

Third year came, and a crashing news reached him. She already had a boyfriend. At first, he shrugged it off as a rumor but…it was true. Her boyfriend was Lovino Vargas. He was known as one of the heartthrob of the school and the second popular when it came to girls (since it was Francis who claimed the first place). He didn't know how they met but it seemed that they were both in the Cooking and Gardening club.

One time, he saw them walking together at the parking lot. She waved at him but he pretended to not see her. Instead, he began 'bullying' the Austrian who happened to pass by. He couldn't really look at her. No. He couldn't let her see the pain in his eyes whenever he saw her with another guy. Those days that followed were the saddest in his life even though he still had managed to act the way he was. He couldn't let anyone see how unawesome he was.

They would meet in the hallways and she would always greet him but he would always quickly avoid her for _he_ was around. It hurt him so much whenever she was with that guy. Her smiles now were not for him but for Lovino. And it hurt to face the reality of the girl he loved was already owned but another man. Yes, he loved her. And he was now sure of it. But he could never tell her that.


	3. Chapter 3

**PART THREE**

One faithful day, she and Lovino broke up. They had a big fight, said she and she came crying to him that night. Gilbert felt happy at that time but he was afraid of showing her for she might get the wrong idea. But maybe, just maybe, it was meant to happen to let him know that he had still a chance. But he also felt pained at the sight of her crying.

'Never again,' he thought, 'would I let anyone hurt you or make you cry like this, _.'

Then, they just found themselves doing their usual things. They would play pranks together again, they would hang-out on their tree house, would play games together, and would even get to trouble together. Just the way they were before she met Lovino. The chances of telling her how he felt were one too many, but he never did. He was still afraid of being rejected.

Then, their JS Promenade came. They were at their tree-house at that Sunday afternoon talking about it.

"I was wondering…" she mused. "if you would like to be my partner, Gilbert."

He was stunned to hear that and for a second, he lost his voice but managed to say, "Aren't there too many boys that will die for you to be their partner?" then he faintly added with a smirk. "Or are you that charmed by me to actually ask?"

She then laughed. "Well, I just thought I want to spend some time with my best friend."

Best friend. Those were the very words that were restricting him to tell his feelings right then and there. He stayed silent thinking of a response.

But she leaned closer to his ear then whispered. "Don't you like to die like the other boys to be my partner, Gil?"

He just smirked at her. "The Awesome Me won't die to be your partner because _you_ will be _my_ partner for the Prom!"

She just chuckled and swiftly kissed him on his cheek. He couldn't believe it! She kissed him! It was like a dream come true! He turned to her as Gilbird chirped on his head. She was blushing as she looked down. Suddenly, she plopped up from where they sat and climbed down the tree house and run.

"Last one to reach the house will treat the other a chocolate sundae!" she yelled over her shoulders with a giggle.

Gilbert just grinned widely as he ran after her. But he didn't run as fast as he could. He'd rather lose and spend another hour with her in the ice cream shop.

The night of the Prom came and he wore his newly bought tuxedo. He even almost poured the whole bottle of perfume to make sure that he was awesome enough for the night. He then went to her house to pick her up.

When he saw her, he thought he saw an angel descending down from heaven instead of his friend walking down the stairs.

"How do I look?" she asked sheepishly with a blush.

No words escaped his mouth for they hung open. Then he remembered the corsage that he was to give her so he fixed his self and walked and wrapped it around her wrist. "To the most beautiful girl in the world," he whispered.

"Is that true?" she asked.

He looked at her and her eyes were hopeful. He just nodded with a grin.

When they arrived at the gymnasium, other students where already there and the music was already playing. Gilbert turned to her.

"This will be quite unawesome but…" he uttered. "May I have this honor to be your first dance?"

She gladly took his hand. "Of course."

And they danced. They moved in synch as they glided on the dance floor. His eyes were lost in hers as they stared at each other. Everything was perfect. Then he thought about the things he wanted to say. The feelings that he badly wanted to tell her about. He leaned down next to her ear as he mustered all of his courage to tell her those three enchanting words…

But then, the music stopped. The magic ended and they went back to their seats. He didn't get to say it…again. He then went to get her for some drinks but when he came back, she was nowhere to be seen. He asked a friend of hers, Lili, if she had seen her but with no luck. He searched and searched and he found her in the garden…with Lovino. He could tell that they were making up since they were close to each other. His heart fell, shattered. His body lost strength and his mind was furious though not functioning well. But he just turned away with clenched fist.

Since that night, he avoided her. He would use a different hallway when he would go to class. He made sure that he always had Antonio or Francis around to distract him if ever she was around. Many times she tried to approach him, talk to him, but he never let her get near. He was afraid to hear that it was Lovino whom she loved and not him. He would rather hurt his self by distancing his self from her rather than be wounded by her words. It was killing him to do so but he thought that it was the only way to forget. His heart was already broken so he wouldn't let his pride be the next.

The day of their graduation came and he decided to move to the next town where his Old Fritz was. He would study Business Management at the university there. As the program ended, she approached him and he had nowhere to escape. But instead of words, she handed him a rose. She stared at him with something held in her eyes: sadness and…something else. Something that couldn't quite explain. Then, she smiled at him but it was not the same smile she would always give him. It was empty and blue. Just that and she silently walked away from him.

So he left just like he had planned. He was accepted in the university and became its top student. He studied hard and worked hard, a very unusual for him to do. But it was all for her. All that he was doing for her. He had promised to his self that no matter what, he would be successful and that was the time he would confessed to her to assure his self that he was worthy of having her.


	4. Chapter 4

**PART FOUR**

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After a year, he decided to come back and visit their town. Nothing has changed since he left. He contemplated whether to go to her house or not but in the end, his heart won and there he is now standing at their door after a year of recalling his past with her. He desperately wants to see her, to hold her tight and never let go and to tell her that he loves her for God knows how long. Now more than ever, he's determined to tell her his feelings

He then knocks on the door. It's her cousin who answers the door.

"Uhm, hey," he tries to grin. "You must be surprised why the Awesome Me is here! Kesesesese~ I decided that I should pay a visit and…see _. Is _ there?"

Sadness is suddenly written all over the cousin's face as she answers him, "No…but I can show you where she is…"

"Awesome!"

Just a little more…He will confess…He will shove all his fears away now…

"There's _," the cousin points as she stops walking.

He then realizes that they are in front of the tree house. He follows where her fingers points to and his face falls. There under the shade of the tree house is…a grave…_'s grave. He can't believe his eyes and for a second, he feels that his life is seeped away from him at the sight of her name engraved on the gravestone. He tries and tries to convince his self that all of this is just a nightmare and he will wake up very soon but it is not. The world around him stops as he walks closer to the grave. His tears are threatening to fall at any moment but he can't cry. Her cousin will see.

"What happened?" that's all that comes out from his mouth.

He hears a sigh. "It has been a week since she…died. She died of Leukemia but…even though she was sick, she was still thinking of you…"

He then turns around to see if she's telling the truth and she is.

"It was even your name she uttered when she died," the cousin continues. "She asked us to bury her here. She said that this regards as the place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had the happiest days of her life…and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked to give you this," she hands him a letter. "I think I should probably leave you alone for now…"

He nods at her speechless and she leaves.

He feels his body becomes numb as he stares at the letter. He slowly opens it and it contains the dried cornflower from the corsage that he gave her on the Prom. The letter is dated last month. His hands are shaking as he reads it…

_Dear Gilbert, _

_I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Gil, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel._

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Lovino; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Lovino and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Lovino came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.

P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

By now, he has let his tears fall. He wants to shout how he desperately loves her, if not as much, but more that she did for him. He loves her more than anything in this world. He falls to his knees with the letter clutched to his chest as raindrops suddenly fall as if the sky is crying along with him. He cries softly and along the pitter-patter of the rain, "Gott, send my love to heaven…"

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((A/N: As I've said, the plot isn't mine. The original story with the original characters is entitled: SEND MY LOVE TO HEAVEN and the content of the letter, I never changed it except from the names…I wrote this because the what-if-Prussia-is-the-guy thought came over me. I don't know who's the author of the story so please tell me if you do, thanks! Oh, thank you for reading this!

**NOW YOU CAN REVIEW XD**))


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